Self-regulation & the nervous system
Being able to regulate our inner states is a big step towards peace and self-mastery. As they say, happiness is an inside job, so lets get into it.
There is a growing awareness of the sympathetic nervous system (fight/fligtht), how we tend to spend too much time in it, instead of moving into the parasympathetic nervous system (rest/digest) and the physiological side effects of this – including burn out.
What is also important to note is how being in the SNS can effect our behaviour and relationships. Here we operate more from our limbic/reactive brains. It can help us to get a lot done (or run from that lion), however there can be other side effects.
Notably, even if we think we are being rational, the mind can spin stories from a place of fear and scarcity – it’s hard to be objective and easy to be defensive. Our brain may try to cope and protect us by becoming hyper aware or obsessive.
Daily stress and the pressures of life, arguments and unresolved trauma can all bring us into the sympathetic nervous system, likewise being in these (SNS) states can cause us to get triggered, lash out or use substances to sooth/numb or shut down.
We tend to move from tension > hormone release > thinking things > acting out/doing funny things until we get rid of the tension. But there are other ways. More and more people are learning how to feel (pain, grief, death) without going into trauma response.
Coming out of a tension state
Step 1 is to become aware that we are in a triggered state. This can mean a racing heart, sweating, anxiety, glee or being on the edge of tears.
Step 2 is to pause before we react. Take a moment to move into a place where you feel safe. Know that you can hold yourself in it and give yourself the support you need. Move from the mind into the body by focusing on your breath or on your surroundings for a moment – dance, movement, getting into nature can help. Don’t believe all you think in this state. It’s important to start to see our thoughts as separate from ourselves, they are not who we are. Remember that when triggered, it is more often about our inner beliefs and feelings than about the other/outside events.
Step 3 get curious about what you are feeling – allow the sensations to pass through your body and try to name the emotion and/or the sensations – this will help to understand yourself and often cause the emotion to dissipate (and the mental spins along with it).
Step 4 accept all that you are, find a healthy way to release the energy if needed and do what you need to nourish yourself.
Understanding the autonomous nervous system
It is made up of the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight) and the parasympathetic nervous system (rest/digest).
The sympathetic nervous system mobilizes action – increase in adrenaline, cortisol and testosterone, increases blood pressure & heart rate. It switches off digestion, the immune system, inflammation, the prefrontal cortex (planning, thinking). We operate a lot more from the limbic/reactive/instinctive brain. Breath is faster but not deeper, muscles & vision are sharper. We can feel stronger than usual but it can also go the other way. A freeze response can make us numb, shrink, hide or comply to dominating figures. One can feel stressed, anxious, “triggered”, overwhelmed, ungrounded, irritated or afraid. We are looking for safety – acting from the past & projecting into the future. This can all be by degree.
The parasympathetic nervous system slows things down, creates feeling of calm & safety. The organs relax, peristalsis resumes, the heartbeat slows down to a gentler rate, the diaphragm relaxes and breathing can become deeper, the actions of the stomach and its stomach acid are resumed to normal function. The body does so much repair and re-balancing without us needing to do much.
Some ways of getting into the parasympathetic NS:
Highly activated SNS
If you are in a highly activated state/filled with anxiety, then doing breathing/meditation may not work for you – in which case movement will be best. As suggested before: walking, dancing etc. (After a shock or fright, some animals tent to stand for a moment and shake. This helps to burns off the stress hormones which flooded the body).
Exercise (and sex) temporarily heighten the SNS, yet also produces hormones like endorphins which eat up the stress hormones. It can be something simple like walking – especially for those who are already exhausted. (Be aware that sex can stimulate base energy centers where much of our issues reside, so it may work well for some and create the opposite effect for others).
relaxation after a work out/yoga – don’t skip it – this is where you can truly float off into a deep dreamy parasympathetic release.
General
One of the quickest ways to stimulate the parasympathetic NS is by stretching out the vagus nerve, which runs from the top of our spine and tongue down to our pelvic floor. You can do this by yawing, lifting your chin up and head back or doing some cat cows.
You can lengthen the exhale – try this pranayama: 2 quick short inhales & 1 loong exhale. Optional: suspend the breath out for a moment. When we inhale our heart rate increases. When we exhale it decreases. The exhale and hold on the exhale is linked to the parasympathetic nervous system, which allows you to calm. Segmenting the breath helps to organize a scattered mind.
Engage the belly – let it rise on the inhale and drop on the exhale. Belly breathing helps to engage the parasympathetic nervous system.
Yoga nidra (yogic sleep) can be used to disengage the mind and induce deep relaxation.
Hug & cuddle – to elevate, release endorphins and oxytocin.
The confetti bush essence (or you can make a tea from the plant itself) is very supportive for our nervous system.
Calming herbs include: valerian root, passiflora and chamomile.
Being in nature cannot be understated – it harmonizes us on all levels and helps to settle and ground.
James has some really great breathing sessions on his IG and website (there is a free trial period).
If you find your mind tends to spin, you can also try Byron Katie’s The Work.
For those with a Vata nature (people tending to be thin, having dryer skin, restless, active), remember that one can help bring the mind and nervous system back to more steadiness by reducing that which stimulates Vata – i.e. irregular rhythms, excessive workout, exposure to cold/wind, stimulants – and adding more grounding elements into your lifestyle e.g. grounding root vegetables, soups in colder months, routine, pranayama, forest time.
Eat healthy fats – fats are essential to build nerve tissue and hormones.
cold water dips – similarly to exercise, these temporarily heighten the sympathetic NS, but also activate the vagus nerve which switches us to the parasympathetic NS. They also train us to be able to regulate our stress response.